This gallery contains 8 photos.
Veggie Muffaletta INGREDIENTS: Homemade or store bought Muffaletta bread or other Italian round bread Red wine vinaigrette Garlic and olive oil spread Fire roasted red peppers (fire roast them yourself or use store bought) Thinly sliced or julienned zucchini Cherry … Continue reading
Relationships are one of those subjects guaranteed to generate confusion, passion, drama, argument…and love! In this column I am more interested in leaving you with questions to wrestle with rather than “the answers” or “the winning formula” to having a perfect relationship. Today, hardly anyone is satisfied with how things are going in their relationship–unless they’ve just met. Those folks who are not in a relationship usually are resigned that it will never happen to them or are desperately looking for the ideal partner. Some people are just looking for a companion to spend time with, go to the movies with, etc. For the most part, humans experience confusion, pain, and failure in relationships regardless of their age or gender.
From what I can see, here’s the good news: there is no one on the planet smarter than you in the area of your relationship! However, the bad news is the same: there is no one on the planet smarter than you in the area of your relationship. If you look at the history and tradition of marriage going back thousands of years, it appears marriage was invented by communities as a tool for survival. Before villages, towns and cities, when we rambled around in small groups, survival was a daily issue. Dangerous animals, harsh weather, enemy tribes, illness, and disease took many lives. So, the norms that developed around marriage were some version of “Get married young. Stay married. Have lots of kids. Teach your kids to do the same.” Oh, and by the way, everyone had to do marriage in a particular way based on the traditions of their community. If you didn’t, you risked being ostracized from the community, which meant certain doom.
Jump forward to 2011. Life is quite different now. There is no danger of the human race fading away. In fact, the opposite is true. We are nearing seven billion people on the planet. What an opportunity to explore different forms of being related! Until recently, we have not had a choice about whether to be married or not married and whether to have kids or not have kids. Much of our culture has been organized around a child-rearing family structure. “Until death do you part” was invented when people were lucky to live thirty of forty years–barely old enough to be grandparents.
Now we have some room to try anything from the standard form of marriage, short term contracts, no contracts, open relationships, friends with benefits… you name it. It is uncomfortable to seriously think and talk about as we each have a huge list of shoulds and shouldn’ts about relationships: how you should be and how the other should be, how you shouldn’t be and how the other shouldn’t be; how y’all should be and how y’all shouldn’t be, how the relationship should be and how the relationship shouldn’t be. A useful exercise is writing down your shoulds and shouldn’ts. Leave space between the entries. After you have a lot of entries look to see when and in what circumstances that should or shouldn’t arrived in your life. Write that down also. Once you have your list you can share it with your partner. This takes courage, but the new level of communication and understanding is well worth it! And, you will have a written record of the shoulds and shouldn’ts that have run your behavior in relationships your entire life.
By taking ownership of these shoulds and shouldn’ts you will begin to have some freedom to create a structure that works for you–one that will result in more freedom for you to be yourself; more room for your partner to be themselves, more room for all-out participation in life, more room to have a larger variety of friends and more room for you and your partner to create something mutually empowering and fun. Go for it! Have lots of negotiations, but don’t sacrifice what matters to you.
Tom Davidson has been an Advanced Practitioner of Zentherapy, new kind of body therapy since 1992. Zen body therapy is designed to have the client discover their inherent ability to let go of any kind of pain and through a 10-session series bring balance to the body producing an experience of freedom, ease, lightness, youthfulness, flexibility and a body that is sufficient to the person’s goals in life, no matter how large. Contact Tom at 816-645-6543 or tomdzbt@gmail.com.
When I returned to the United States after two years of living abroad in the underdeveloped world I expected the typical sorts of re-entry questions.
“Who were the first people you wanted to see?”
My siblings. Still haven’t seen my brother yet.
“When was your first, ‘Oh my God, I am very much back in the US’ moment?”
Specialty cheeses aisle, day 5. These seem like relevant and personal questions yet for a surprising majority,
“What’s the first thing you ate?” was far more interesting than anything else about my repatriation.
“Taco Bell.”
People don’t take this seriously. They think the answer is hipster irony, like claiming to prefer soccer to football, or representing Tom Selleck as a great actor. If not irony, friends from the charcuterie and wheatgrass crowd think I’m trying to get a rise out of them.
Mine is not an ironic affection. I have a love affair with Taco Bell that stretches back to the meat-and-cheese only special-order days of my youth, right through the late-night take-out line in college. It survived condescending girlfriends and a growing aversion to heat lamps and microwaves. When I turned my back on Chinese buffets and Shoney’s and McDonald’s, my love for Taco Bell burned hotter. When things like charcuterie, wheatgrass, unclogged arteries, acting like an adult, and cooking my own dinner entered my life, Taco Bell and I still maintained a hot little thing; Solo road trips, late-nights, and days when the roommate was away.
Being abroad only made me miss Taco Bell more.
What is there to miss, really? I can’t offer a rundown of my standard Taco Bell order because, save the large Mountain Dew, there’s nothing consistent about it. It doesn’t really matter because everything at Taco Bell is essentially the same. There is a meat, some cheese, some lettuce, and maybe some diced tomatoes for color. What is a Nacho Bellgrande if not a Chalupa dumped on some chips? The more logical question if you do not have an illicit love affair with Taco Bell is what the hell is a Chalupa?
At this point in my life, it’s a question I know few people who can answer, but I do know people. My sisters know what a Chalupa is. My brother not only knows what a Chalupa is, he knows the one place within the city limits of Seattle to find it. He also lived abroad for three years, and when I went to visit him for the first time, the only Americana request he had was 200 packets of mild sauce. He even married one of the seven Danes that actually love T Bell.
Maybe it’s a class issue. These days a stay-at-home mom and a school-teacher dad sound like something from a 50’s sitcom, but that was how we grew up. Twenty years ago, Taco Bell wasn’t a news item on obesity or people on the poverty line forcing down cholesterol wraps to hit their minimum daily caloric intake. Taco Bell was dining out. At least it was for us.
Even nostalgia or the inability to disassociate the ratio of money spent versus hunger abated isn’t a satisfying explanation. Nostalgia might help explain why I keep going back but it doesn’t answer the question at hand which is why, after two years away from all the foods I love, would I choose a menu of filling, bland goodness?
I think the answer is rooted in one of those questions people did not ask. What terrified me about the specialty cheese aisle and what bowls me over every time I open my email account or leave the house is the number of decisions I am faced with every day. Modern first-world life consists of an almost endless menu of choices. Even without a foodie or hipster culture forcing me as well, my modern first-world mind has been trained to rationalize or reconcile the reasoning behind each of these decisions.
In the face of overwhelming choice, I find the same reassurance in knowing a Chalupa is as delicious as a Nacho Bellgrande, that I find in knowing I do not have to explain the ache to see my siblings. I’m still getting my footing here in the US, and for now I cling to the places where there is no menu, where everything is heat-lamp warm.
Like everyone with a pulse I’ve decried the long-distance relationship (LDR) as, “a terrible idea,” “something I’ll never do again” and “worse than a return of epidemic smallpox”. But also like everyone with a pulse, I am a hypocrite.
One of the benefits of the LDR in which I’ve been embroiled for the last year has been the very thing that puts the LD in that LDR: My girlfriend lives in New York City. Before meeting my girlfriend I had spent time in New York, but I hadn’t gotten to know the place the way you do when you’re schlepping Whole Foods bags from Union Square to the Graham stop on the L line.
My CV – seven or eight five day stints in the city – does not make me an expert on all things Gotham, but those stints have given me some perspective, especially when added to an adult life that has seen me live in Barcelona, Athens, Los Angeles, Chicago, and Atlanta.
All that to say this: You can trust me as much as you can trust anyone who will remain the faceless author of a 900 word article comparing two cities.
Going into my year of quasi-New Yorkery, I had no reason not to like the place. In fact I had plenty of reason to like the place: I was considering graduate school there, my brother lived there, my girlfriend lived there, but I don’t like New York. Sure, there are more things to do, and you can walk everywhere, and the people are probably more interesting to talk to than the people in say, Kansas City. But there’s a reason that so many people say the same things about the place: “It sure is crowded. And doing anything is a pain in the ass. And my god is it expensive.” Usually people say those things right before they say, “But I love it,” because you know, that’s what people do. They love New York in spite of its wrinkles, its warts, and its $1500 a month studio apartments.
The reason people do this is the same reason that guy you know stays with that ugly girl he dates – the one who sucks the fun out of every room she enters. People don’t like to admit when they’re wrong. But my mission is not to bash New York. My mission is to sell you on the idea that Kansas City is a better place to live than you think. Consider the facts:
New York City’s main draws are: 1) things to do, 2) people to do them with, and 3) ease of doing them (you can walk or ride everywhere you go).
I’ll grant you that those are important reasons to live in a particular ‘burg, especially if one is under 40 years old.
The problem – the anti-draw, so to speak – is a significant one. The benefit of having “so much to do” is negated if one can’t do anything, whether because of cost, because everyone else wanted to see Deer Tick that Saturday, or because you can’t be in more than one place at once. Unless you’ve perfected a Star Trek-style transporter and haven’t told anyone, you bastard.
Last spring, after buying tickets one week before the show, I watched the indie/electronica band Miike Snow with 200 other people at Kansas City’s Record Bar. Ten days later, I was in Brooklyn visiting the other half of my LDR, and noticed that the band’s tour had wound its way to New York. But their show at Webster Hall (capacity 1400) had been sold out for months. I would have needed a permission slip signed by Michael Bloomberg – or a Derek Jeter bodysuit – to get a ticket.
One comparison does not make a rule. But the Miike Snow duality has served as a fine example of a phenomenon I’ve noticed to be true: The cultural events in New York are often similar to those in Kansas City, but in Kansas City we can actually attend those events. Throw in a rock bottom cost of living, ($700 for a two-bedroom, anyone?) and, when one engages in the cost/benefit analysis that comes naturally to mankind (Is this can of beans worth 69 cents? Is our relationship worth wearing a Zorro cape every Saturday night?), the results favor cities like our fair Kansas City.
Of course, all of my not-so-scientific analysis gets deleted like last night’s booty text if one has a trust fund or an Internet startup. If money isn’t a consideration, you should buy a penthouse apartment just off Central Park and see how many models you can get pregnant. My analysis of New York City and its relative disadvantages when compared to Kansas City should not substitute for actually going to New York City, or to any other city, for that matter. If you have the means, do it.
But if you don’t have enough money to live in New York while you’re in your twenties and thirties, I have good news: Kansas City is a better place than you think.
The impetus for the founding of our nation as well as its primary purpose and reason for operating are one and the same–fair and equal representation. The founding fathers did not take lightly to grand impositions from across the sea, laying stake and claim to the hard earned fruits of American labor, nor did African Americans or women remain idle as legislatures they could not affect played god with the futures of men.
We, the American Public, have a rich and lengthy history of demanding that those who represent us do so fairly with open and honest good faith. Have we become so steeped in our own freedom that we now fail to hold our own leaders accountable? America, a shining beacon of prosperous Democracy, stands as a bulwark against fascism, tyrants, and the regress of an age, but how?
Democracy functions only as a result of an educated and well informed public, a public whose duty it is to concern themselves with the issues and then guide the public discourse through the electoral process. The recent release by wikileaks.com of thousands of diplomatic cables between American and foreign ambassadors has left governments worldwide scrambling to get their stories straight. More importantly it has created a rift between our rulers’ desired public personas, and the validity of decisions made by officials in our name.
Good Touch: The three most recent Wikileaks releases consisting of nearly half a million unadulterated government documents have inundated the public sector with vital information pertaining to the conduct of our appointed officials–an essential resource for any thriving democracy.
Bad Touch: The nature of our official’s behavior and handling of delicate international relations is not in-line with the essence of our freedom loving spirit and national ideals. In short, we have been misrepresented.
A perfect example of poor representation and misuse of American influence for the benefit of big business occurred in France in 2007 by then-US ambassador, Craig Stapleton, on behalf of the American biotech industry. MON 810, engineered by Monsanto, was the first genetically modified seed (GMO) to be approved for planting on a large scale.
Initially the European food industry was apprehensive about placing GMO foods in the market as consumers had health safety concerns. As a result, American producers did not export many genetically modified products to Europe. After approval of the seed for planting, many European countries took swift action to ban the product.
Craig Stapleton, concerned about growing anti-biotech sentiment, then used his position to pressure his constituents, in a leaked cable Stapleton is quoted, “Europe is moving backwards not forwards on this issue with France playing a leading role…Moving to retaliation will make clear that the current path has real costs to EU interests and could help strengthen European pro-biotech voice.” Stapleton continues, “Country team Paris recommends that we calibrate a target retaliation list that causes some pain across the EU since this is a collective responsibility, but that also focuses in part on the worst culprits.”
An American ambassador to France, using his influence to financially hurt other countries for the gain of corporate constituents is a gross abuse of American representation and good will. Was it not for Wikileaks and its network of whistleblowers, this sort of interaction as well as thousands like it, would never have been enumerated or brought into the public forum.
How can we as Americans balance the painful truths of our leaders’ corruption with the brilliance of democratic standards? Only a diligent and tenacious citizenry willing to indulge itself in the intricacies of the socio-political landscape can decide. Through strength in community, organizations like RecycledRockstar, and publications such as the one you read this moment we can carry the torch of freedom in discourse.
Percy Patriot
The most notable American New Year tradition is of course the implementation of a resolution. However, this year I would like to challenge you to broaden your resolution to your surrounding community.
If your resolution is to get active and fit, then I ask you to focus on not just your own physical well-being but to interact with your environment and neighbors. Every citizen has already paid for a gym membership through taxes to maintain sidewalks, roads, and parks. Get outside and take a daily walk around your block and actually say “hi” to the people you encounter, or organize a sporting event that the neighbors are welcome to join in on, or put some hours in at a community garden, or pick up trash down your street. You’ll be amazed at the workout you get from bending over picking up garbage.
One inspirational example is that of the generous people who contribute to the efforts made by those of us here at Recycled Rockstar Ind. Not only do they contribute to the success of our organization and Kansas City as a whole, but they also have had an astonishing impact on our neighborhood. First of all, they have helped us reach out to our community through aiding in the construction and care of a 1500-square-foot community garden. They have also brought food to our cook-outs and helped us improve the culinary skills of ourselves and our neighbors. They have helped us orchestrate events to support local artists and field days filled with games to satisfy the child in us all. They have helped improve the safety of our neighborhood as well as created an environment that is fun and inviting to both children and adults.
The atmosphere of our neighborhood is quite unlike most in Kansas City, and much gratitude is owed to the cooperation and dedication of these fine people. As the weather gets warmer, feel free to stop in and check out the festivities as well as the garden located in the field next to the KCPT tower. After all, everyone in KC is a neighbor, and the more the merrier! Instead of sweltering in a gym fussing with yet even more machines and stench, get outside and get a workout while making a difference in your community. This year, I dare you to change your resolution into an eleemosynary hogmanay.
Criteria for Sterilization
As an avid tackler of robust and polarizing topics I have decided to jump on one housed deep in the bowels of societies around the world that few future presidents would openly publish opinions on. America is crumbling because our over-utilized welfare system does nothing to boost its dependents from the poverty they have grown to rely on so heavily, and while there are lots of good people in bad situations, there are also lots of stupid people in bad situations. It is these stupid people that become the bad parents of pain-in-the-ass kids who grow up to be stupid people with shitty kids. The United States needs to be producing an intelligent diverse society capable of leading the world into an age of global prosperity, and more welfare money for each additional child is not the way to go. This is not a condemnation of any class or race but an attack on ignorance.
Like most things, prejudice, intolerance, susceptibility to anger, rashness, and closed-mindedness all tend to develop in young people from an external source. People are rarely born with a shitty attitude but develop one over the course of their rearing. The United States is caught in a vicious cycle that too many people are willing to externalize and ignore. While you may be a good parent, insulating yourself and your offspring from the realities of our cities is a perpetuation of blissful ignorance that will only continue to harm this country. Americans need to step up to the plate and start raising more intelligent and socially aware children.
An excellent first step to this process is not spreading yourself too thin. Parenting is a very difficult task and while I do not have firsthand experience with my own children, I regularly deal with yours. It is difficult to understand the allure of having a bunch of kids when you can barely support yourself. Condoms are not expensive and open-mindedness toward birth-control education for youngsters won’t hurt anyone. Treating your children with respect from the beginning may seem like a basic concept, but I regularly see toddlers jerked on and off city buses while dad talks to his buddies on the phone, obviously upset that he has to drag little Sally along. It is not your child’s fault he or she exists and no matter how pissed you are about it, no one has any right to take that anger out on a four year old.
It is silly that some self-righteous asshole feels the need to tell America’s adults what to do, but by acting like fools you have brought it upon yourselves. One of America’s most famous presidents, Teddy “Rough Riding” Roosevelt had my back when he wrote, “I wish very much that the wrong people could be prevented entirely from breeding; and when the evil nature of these people is sufficiently flagrant, this should be done.” Eugenics is a horrifying topic and the justifications used on its behalf around the world have been as tragic as the cycle of bad parenting discussed so far. It is easy to say that people meeting certain criteria should be sterilized if you are the one creating those standards but no one, except you, has any right to control your reproduction.
As a major proponent of accountability I think we should all take a step back and each decide whether or not we should be sterilized. Do you have a child that you abandoned? Have you ever lost control and beaten your child or spouse? Do you shoot up heroine or smoke meth around your kids? Have you ever taught them anything? Are you an idiot?
This gallery contains 4 photos.
Photos by DICK SCHLUTER “Radical Radish Salad” Bacon, Radish, Radicchio Salad with Goat Cheese and Fried Egg Ingredients: 4 eggs (I use Campo Lindo Farms Eggs. Buy local!) 4 slices of bacon 1 tbsp Red Wine Vinegar ½ tsp Dijon … Continue reading
If the Mayans were right, APOCALYPTIC DOOM IS LESS THAN TWO YEARS AWAY. How are you going to spend your remaining days on this planet we call Earth? When the late Kurt Vonnegut was asked this questions, he recommended that “we should be unusually kind to one another, certainly. But we should also stop being so serious. Jokes help a lot.”
With respect to Mr. Vonnegut’s suggestion, I have developed a list of things to consider before 12/12/12. Hopefully these ideas make us more compassionate, keep us on our toes, and if nothing else lighten the mood.
Walk into Wal-Mart and ask to speak with the owner.
Start a pen pal campaign with al-Qaeda.
Next time you go through airport security and they are giving you the pat down–make things awkward–act like you are thoroughly enjoying it, on the verge of orgasm.
Start praying to the Flying Spaghetti Monster–He answers prayers at about the same rate as God, and with precise accuracy.
Commit Facebook suicide.
Quit shaking hands and start giving hugs.
Talk to bums–look them in the eyes and treat them with some respect–give them what you can, regardless of where you think it is going–I bet it’s not towards a Dolce & Gabbana hand bag or an iPad–so quit discriminating.
Quit arguing with people on the internet–it’s a lost cause.
If you have ever wanted to experiment with drugs, now is the time–the Spaghetti Monster approves.
Launch a war on wars.
If you have suggestions on how to spend your pre-apocalyptic days we would love to hear them. Please send your ideas to loveandconquest@gmail.com. Who knows, creative answers may be featured in the next edition.
Hello, friends. Josh Nelson from Recycled Rockstar Ind. here. Thanks for stopping in to check out the new website for our publication An Insider’s Guide to Midtown Mayhem. This site is your source for the substance behind what is fast becoming Kansas City’s most fun and unique print publication. Please take some time to peruse our archives and frolic among the fruits of our city’s most culturally laborious. Be sure to let us know what you think before you leave!
Cheers!
Josh Nelson & Recycled Rockstar Ind.
by Shelby Johnson
by Ali Mo
by Matt Sevart
Laurel Scott
Ali Morris
Shelby Johnson
Jose Benavides
Paul Shirley
ElectroPulp!
Jenn Schomer
Sam Klinkenborg
House of Fringe
The Brick
Pabst Blue Ribbon
Davey's Uptown
John D. Arnold & Associates
Pabst Blue Ribbon
Yelp!
House of Fringe
The Artful Gardener
Californos
Burnett Evans Banks
I-70 Auto Service
The Brick
Davey's Uptown
John D. Arnold & Associates
Record Bar
Rhythm & Booze
Nature's Own Market
World of Spirits
